To the heart's who've been there.

"One regret, dear world,
That I am determined not to have
When I am lying on my deathbed
Is that
I did not kiss you enough"

-Hafiz

Guilty. Guilty i am of taking the true love of another, and giving nothing in return. Guilty I stand. However, so many days have passed since that day. So many nights sleep has been robbed from my bed.

so many lessons came from so little sleep. Time to think. Time to be tortured by thoughts on the disbelief of my own actions.

she did love me. I almost loved her.

-The problem is the gap that is painted in between those two sentences. I lived in that gap. i thrived in that gap. It was the lung from which i awoke and drew air every morning. did i love her?

In some ways, maybe.

There was always a distinction between what was and what i knew could be. Perhaps i loved her like a lit match. i was struck, ignited, burned bright and exciting! Then the flame began to grow lower and lower, until it was a small steady flame. all the while growing closer and closer to the hand it would burn.

-But i tell this now, because i could not tell this then. I had no idea the depth of the situation i had blown to smitherines....a situation we all too often get caught in. I know now that i am better to have loved, better to have been loved, and best to have lost love. (here comes the kicker, you might want to sit down for this)

-because sometimes we don't know what we have until it's gone.

But thank goodness it's gone!! because NOW NOW NOW!! we know what we have!

- you love and you love and you LOSE. and that is great. that is wonderful. because for every rock we stumble on, we fall that much farther down the path of our life.

It's a good thing i had more than one match in my box.

-Because i'm afraid i've lit a fire.

-A fire that is equivalent to sweet tea on summer nights.

-The breeze that blows through the pasture at 2am right before the dew falls.

-The rumble that shakes the ground and the whistle that pierces the darkness when the midnight train rolls through Depew, Ok.

-That feeling you feel when you look up at the stars and know, for fact fact fact, that your God does exist,

-and though you're physically minuscule when compared the mass of the universe,

-all at the same time you have found love enough to fill it.

so if you are one of the souls, who has loved, and loved, and lost. be glad, you're better for it. And you have no idea, what is still to come your way.

-Wednesday morning,

Kyle