A New Season

It is odd I suppose, that a man would write his feelings into a machine and then post them into a world where he knows no certain followers. But to write, and more dearly express, is perhaps one of the most liberating feelings I've known.

This blog has been through a lot. It has seen many battles played out within my heart over the past 8 years. But it is not only battle for which I come here to write. I come here, too, to write of joy.

Today I share with you, my joy.

Last night I kissed a woman. With a sweet, soft touch.....I held her sweet small hand in my hands....and kissed her lips with the deepest emotion in my heart.

It's funny how in that moment, my aches and pains, both physical and mental, fled from my body. She's new to the game of understanding Kyle. She knows only of my sweetness and passions for love of people, and knowledge. I'm new to the game of her.....knowing only the sweetness of her smile, and the blue of her weary eyes.

New love is innocent. New love is beautiful. And new love lasts only as long as a Winter cold front. These nostalgic times of love are what we tend to remember the most when we think about people dear to our hearts.

Looking into her eyes, all pain and suffering is vanished from my bones. And each day, I cannot wait to arise and see her again. While the pain of the past will always leave scars on our delicate human hearts, the promise of a future will always bring relief. Hope. And Joy.

I cannot wait to see what happens next. I cannot wait to read what life writes in the next chapter of my book. Whatever it may be, I feel a sweet peace that new love, and new life will soon usher-in some of the happiest days that i'll ever know.

All of my heart,

Kyle

Happy Valentines Valentine

As I sit here and stare across the back yard at the house that was once our home, I cannot help but remember your face.

This day is a particularly difficult one. As the world around us celebrates their love, I sit here with a hole in my heart that is your heart.

The pain doesn't stop unless I sleep. When I sleep, you're there. You're still the woman who walks with me in my dreams. As I hold your hand and walk through the clouds over Talimena Drive, you look to me and smile. You smile that infectious smile of a fleeting lover. In your smile I try to meditate, and make the world stop. Because I do not want to lose that moment.

I sit and think of all the things we might do on a day like this. Such a beautiful Saturday Valentine. 70 degrees, sunny. We'd have probably driven to the lake with the top down and talked about life at a concrete picnic table.

If only I'd have known that your love for me came with an expiration date, I'd have kissed you longer, hugged you tighter, and held you closer....all of those times. The best five years of my life times. The hardest five years of my life times.

Instead I sit here. I sit on this couch wrapped in a blanket that was once ours. One that we slept under so many cold winter nights when the heater didnt work. Instead I sit here.....and wish you a happy Valentines valentine.


Kyle