blog-splanations.

For me...

The absence of perfection is where beauty has the chance to emerge.

in. all. things.

life.love.people.women.the economy.

all things.

I'd have never started a blog, last year, if I didn't need somewhere to vent my imperfections. Music used to be my medium. Since the time I was a little, little, kid. Music was it. Sitting here now, not having a single guitar in my car or apartment, I would disappoint more than one of my old friends. I'd disappoint quite a few, really. But I've got this thing......where I totally don't care. And I never have really. Not at all a rebellious, hair to the wind "ughh omg i jus dont kaur" type of thing. (I have a sister who'd say it exactly like that, scream it really.)

I legitimately don't care about a lot of things. And other's people weirdness's.....definitely fit into that category. I've always been that way. Since birth. It used to make mom reeeeaaalll mad. She hated that I could brush 1000 problems off of my sleeve and smile and not care. (Smiles with a hint of deviance, mind you) always, with deviance. Arguably a bad habit. Very Very Arguably.

If I decided that I was going to end my sparatic talk, I'd end my blog. I end my twitter, and facebook along with it. Facebook may end completely before long anyhow. That's another sparatic story. Much. Another.

You see, this space. this web address. This place. is one of the only I have right now to call solely mine. At the end of the day, if I have lost control in all other places, I have this one. That is just....mine. And I can put whatever I want here. And if I;m the only one who reads it....as is the majority case....I'm happy all the same. A girl i liked a lllloooooooottt told me that same thing about her blog once. I didn't understand it then. I thought the key was to get as many hits as possible. I thought the key was to entertain. I tried so hard for so long to entertain. Woke up one day and found out that I was really only entertaining myself. Definitely was entertaining though. for the record (as if one were being kept) she no longer blogs. Her blog, in its existence shown perfection and delicacy that I had never seen anywhere else in my life. Her everything blew my every mind, and I was cap-cap-captivated. I fell so hard for the light she brought to a room. I found out, that the higher you climb up the fantasy pole, the longer the fall to the reality ground.

.........and i no longer entertain.

It's the good things, that keep my world from falling apart. Like the Ray song I posted earlier. Things that unwind me and keep me bound together all the same....will find their way to my blog. I put my "good" here. My deep, down, loved-that, felt-that, decided-to-stay-alive another-day-because-of-that, stuff.

Music. Good food. Faith in portions. And people.

they'll all find their way here.

-Kyle