I knew I left something over there

My apartment smells of pipe tobacco and mid-quality coffee. My tv is on, but muted. I am fair to good. Well...I almost made it out without lying. Fair to good describes what you might see on the outside. Fair to good describes what you might get upon glancing at my image. But given a moment, if you stared into my soul, you'd see only half of it.

I once sat repeatedly and listened to a friend speak about how he was lonely, and how he was getting older, and was worried he'd never find the girl of his dreams. I listened to his situation forward and backwards. Ten times or more in that last year before he met her. Her that he's married to now. She's a mean woman. She's cute at first glance....but I couldn't be more unhappy about the way she treats my old friend.

Something about that Junior year of college hitting you in the face and telling you that you ought find out who you are, and then find out who someone else is. And give the two souls a chance to mesh. A great person who I've come to respect, once said "I've reached the point in my life where all that I want is to love, and be loved for my being. Not for anything else, just my life alone." Great words, that I often hoped I'd never take to heart. But as I stand on the ledge and look down into the canyon of my soul, I see a gorge half full.....on good days.

I'd give all of everything to set this feeling free. Send it back to the depths and pits of sorrow where it belongs. But it's appeared to be more difficult than just wishing it. Regardless of the situation you might find YOURSELF in, I find myself in this one. I hope you've maintained the grace and perseverance enough to carry yourself independently down the sidewalk of your life..... But the rest of us aren't perfect. The rest of us have given our souls so generously once to another, and never quite got it all back. Like the phone call three days after your first big fight, telling you that you can come and get your things now, as your other half will no longer be needing them. I knew I left something over there....

Kyle